Sob Sob Sob

I miss my baby. All I want to do is fall asleep for the next 25 days. Just do nothing. Sleep. I can't take being alone like this anymore, not after what I had. I know it's coming fast, and I know she has a lot to do in the next month that she is away. I just am so lonely. I can't even take it anymore.

Soon I feel like we will hardly talk, and I will come down to pick her up, and she won't remember who I am.

Rar. Lonely.

Skin against the steel.

Sometimes I can be a odd person. I will walk a certain way, a certain step, a certain speed. I will think in a way that does not make sense when I go back over it. I will talk in a way that many will never understand. I go for certain feelings when I see them. I will always stick my hand in a bag of seeds or rice or beads or beans just because it is the best feeling that can be had as far as I know. I will always press my forehead against cold steal when I have a headache or when I am hot.

I will do these things because they are the human thing to do? Or I will do these things because I am less human than the rest of everyone elese. Sometimes. I don't feel welcome as part of our species.

I don't know that any of us do.

Maybe we should all just go back to not.